Regretfully, 1950s Husband informed me that 1950s Wife drank a bit too much elderberry wine last night celebrating the Chicago Blackhawks setting the National Hockey League record for best season start ever.
(FYI, for those of you who aren’t cool like me and 1950s Wife and don’t keep up with the world’s greatest sport, the Hawks have gone 17 consecutive games without a loss in regulation time. Yes, the greatest team in the history of sports has 14 wins and three overtime losses where the other team got lucky in the “shootout.”
Hockey awards partial credit for obtaining a tie score in regulation time. That gives the Hawks 31 points in the standings, not that the regular standings matter anymore, as our team is a shoo-in for the playoffs and will of course win the coveted Stanley Cup.)
1950s Husband says he told 1950s Wife to come up to bed with him after the game ended because she had a big day ahead cooking his meals, cleaning house and washing his clothes. But, under the influence of three glasses of wine, 1950s Wife told Hubby he could “stick it in the back of his five-hole” because she was going out for a proper “celly” with the other “hockey rockets” and “hockey bros” at the town tavern.
Luckily, 1950s Husband chased 1950s Wife down before she got to the car. Hubby marched her back to the house, took her upstairs to the bedroom, turned her over his knee, lifted her skirt, lowered her panties and spanked her so soundly with the “naughty girl paddle” that she screamed “Daddy, please Daddy, don’t spank me so hard. I’ll be good.”
In addition, 1950s Husband grounded 1950s Wife for at least two weeks with no computer and no hockey on TV.
So, in the few hours that the “in-crowd” (that’s you and me, dear readers) doesn’t spend watching the Blackhawks, reading about the Blackhawks, thinking about the Blackhawks and knitting Blackhawks sweaters for significant others, I invite you to check out my new blog “Notes from the Naughty Chair” as alternative entertainment. The link is http://naughtychair4claire.blogspot.com/
And if you get a chance, e-mail 1950s Wife updates on the upcoming Blackhawks games. She’s going to sneak a peek at the computer while Hubby’s away at work. He put a lock on the screen, but she’s confident she can crack the code.