Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Peach Tree Switching, But No Peach Pie, For Naughty Wife

Dear 1950s Wife:

We recently moved to a new house with a peach tree in the back yard. Rather than paddling me, my husband now whips me with a switch for major offenses.

I sure wish we hadn't moved because those peach-tree switches sting like the dickens. I always holler and cry and dance up a storm when Hubby stripes my bare backside. Plus the ritual he puts me through for punishment is really embarrassing.

Once Hubby informs me I'm to be whipped, I must change into a girlish pink party dress that features puffed sleeves, a sweetheart collar and a lacy skirt with stiff crinolines underneath. The skirt sticks out at practically a ninety degree angle and is so short that the bottom half of my ruffled panties are displayed.

White knee socks, shiny black Mary Jane shoes and huge hair bow complete the outfit.

It's so humiliating to wear such a juvenile costume. But the worst part is that I must go outside to cut my own switch. The nosy middle-aged neighbor lady spends most of her time working in her backyard and always sees me.

So she wouldn't be unduly disturbed by my screams and cries when I'm disciplined, my husband informed the neighbor that we adhere to the 1950s lifestyle shortly after we moved in. This crusty old biddy has never been married and doesn't know what it's like to be spanked. But that doesn't stop her from telling me she thinks it's great that my husband whips me with a switch because, in her opinion, young women today are ill-mannered and disrespectful.

As soon as she spies me walking towards the peach tree in my party dress, the neighbor lady shouts "Ha, Ha, Little Missy, I bet you're gonna get your hind parts whipped good!"

She's always telling me to be sure to cut a nice green switch and that she enjoys hearing my sobs and screams of "Please Daddy!" when I'm whipped.

"Ha, Ha, 'Daddy' is gonna whip Little Missy till she can't sit down," she teases.

I got switched the other day for accidently mismatching one of my husband's black socks with a navy blue one. I didn't think it was fair -- a hand-spanking would have been enough -- and I guess I was in an extra bad mood when I was sent out to cut my switch.

The neighbor lady started teasing me as usual. I admit to a moment of bad judgment when I ran at her with my pocketknife. Luckily, my husband saw me from the window and tackled me just before I reached the fence. (He played cornerback on the high school football team and is really fast.)

As you might expect, my husband switched me extra hard once he got me back inside. I yelled "Please Daddy," so long and hard that my throat was horse and danced a jig so fierce that my feet were sore.

And, as additional punishment, I must use all the peaches from our tree once ripe to make pies for the neighbor to sell at her old-ladies-club bake sale and I'm not allowed to have one slice!

Good woman:

Rather than being angry at the neighbor lady, you should be grateful for her teasing as the humiliation from her laughing at you increases the salutary effect of your whippings.

And hats off to your husband making you wear such charming "discipline dress."

Such a pretty picture you must make in your party dress as you meekly hand "Daddy" the peach tree switch with one hand, feebly attempting to shield the panties that peep out below your skirt with the other, eyes cast down in embarrassment all the while.

I trust your husband is like mine and requires you to recite your misdeeds prior to whipping you. And, once soundly switched and your tears subside, to give him a girlish peck on the cheek then say "Thank you Daddy for whipping me so hard. I know you do it because you love me and care about how I behave."

Sunday, March 11, 2012

"Girly Ball," the Latest Sporting Craze

Dear 1950s Wife:

With warm weather upon us, our town's submissive wives will soon take the field for another season of "Girly Ball" -- a sport our husbands love to watch us play but isn't always so much fun for me and teammates.

Girly Ball is essentially touch football. But instead of jerseys and jeans, our uniforms consist of tight white sweaters with push-up bras underneath, teeny-tiny plaid skirts that barely cover our bottoms, white knee socks and saddle shoes.

Our white panties include Velcro straps across the middle affixed to which are red ribbons long enough for the bottom six inches to fall past the end of our skirts. Instead of "touching" the opponent, a successful tackle requires ripping the ribbon off the ball carrier’s behind.

As you might imagine, our husbands find it highly amusing to watch their wives scampering across the field in our tight sweaters and embarrassingly-short "naughty schoolgirl" skirts as we try to snatch ribbons off each others' backsides.

Being that we're "girly girls," plenty of slap-fighting and hair-pulling takes place during play. And along with yardage being assessed for fouls, offending players get paddle swats from the referee and must stand in the penalty box for a set amount of time in "touch-toes-position."

And there's more paddling for some of us at the end of the game. As motivation to play hard throughout the contest, the winning team's players get to administer paddle swats to the losing team's backsides: one lick for every point in the margin of victory.

As we're spanked so much by our husbands, it's so much fun to turn the tables when we win and hand out licks full force. But whenever we lose, the victorious team is sure to return the favor.

After the paddling, all the players kick off their saddle shoes and scamper into a shallow duck pond at field's edge. We must squat down for several minutes so the water is at chin level. (The losing team must keep this position for five extra minutes.)

Boy oh boy, that pond sure is cold this time of year. And even in the summer when the water is warmer, it's so uncomfortable especially when feel I feel tadpoles slithering across my legs

Once thoroughly soaked, we stand up in the pond and spend several minutes posing for our husbands. They like us to throw back our hair and stick out our chests, our drenched sweaters showing off our cleavage to full effect, and to lift our skirts so they can admire front and back views of our soaked panties.

Once we're let out of the pond, the losing team must do calisthenics for several minutes. Then we're finally allowed to towel off and change clothes. There's no locker room, so we girls form a human circle so each player can change out of her drippy outfit one-by-one.

If my team loses, I also get spanked by my husband when we get home. So I sure hope we have a good team this year.

My husband's in the backyard and I just heard his training whistle blow. Got to go run laps around the house.

Good woman:

"Girly Ball," what a fantastic sport!

I shall certainly show my husband your letter so he can tell the other husbands about this fun game. I'm confident the sport will soon catch on in our town.

"Girly Ball" sounds like so much fun! So sad to be in my late 40s and thus far too old for such a vigorous sport. I limit my exercise these days to high-speed vacuum cleaning, mopping, ironing and other aerobic activities.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

A Birthday Spanking and a Spanking Book for Birthday: What a Lucky Wife!

A Gentleman Writes:

My wife's birthday is coming up soon. Can you help me think of a suitable gift to accompany the long, hard birthday spanking I intend to give her.

I got my wife a state-of-the-art vacuum cleaner  for last year's birthday and this Christmas she was overjoyed to receive a brand-spanking-new ironing board. Our other household appliances are quite new, none is more than 20 years old. So getting her another contraption to aid in her cooking and cleaning would be a complete waste of money.

Quite frankly I'm stumped. It seems like my wife has everything her heart could desire.

Kind Sir:

With her fancy ironing board, high-tech vacuum cleaner and rest of her household appliances being practically brand new, your wife is sitting in the lap of luxury. Yet still you want to get your beloved that "special something" to help make her birthday memorable. What a kind, generous, loving husband you are to spoil your wife so!

What to give as birthday present for the wife who already has everything? Might I suggest:

The Spanking Hand Book – the authoritative guide to adult
discipline. The complete guide to giving and getting a well deserved punishment!
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I'm certain this wonderful encyclopedia of spanking discipline and romance will be a cherished gift that will keep you and your wife entertained for years to come.