"Christian Chicks" Take Note: It's Cool to Submit

This story is now included in my latest anthology "The Best of 1950s Wife Vol. 2," which may be purchased for ready read on your Kindle from Amazon.com for the reasonable price of $2.99 by clicking this link: The Best of 1950s Wife

 

May Gay Married Men Live the "1950s Wife" Lifestyle?

A Gentleman writes:

After years of hard work, my company rightly rewarded me with a promotion and healthy raise. The new job requires me and longtime companion, Billy, to move from Miami Beach to company headquarters in Iowa.

While we’re sad to leave the Florida sunshine behind, my increased pay coupled with the lower cost-of-living lets us upgrade from one-bedroom condominium to 5,000-square-foot “McMansion.” Just as important, moving to a sophisticated state such as Iowa gives me and Billy the chance to finally “tie the knot.”

Billy’s never brought in much money from his career as professional body builder. To make up for it, he takes primary housekeeping responsibility.

Though he averages 12 hours a day at the gym, Billy’s cooking and cleaning have heretofore proved acceptable. But, now that we’re getting married, I expect a bit more from Billy than the bare minimum. It’s high time he puts dreams of body-building stardom on the shelf so he can spend the majority of time attending to my needs.

I came across your blog researching vacuum cleaners online, as Billy carelessly broke the old one running it into a set of barbells he left on the living room floor. I must confess the thought of Billy hard at work during the day keeping my mansion immaculately clean and cooking me fancy dinners while being at my beck and call anytime I desire sex at night is most appealing.

But, as a rising corporate star with dreams of CEO-ship dancing in my head, I dare not commit a faux pas in my domestic life.  As your blog is required reading among the smart set, I must ask: Is it acceptable for gay married men to practice the “1950s Wife” lifestyle?

Kind Sir:

First let me congratulate you and Billy on your impending nuptials. If only more states followed the lead of the Hawkeye State, then these United States would be a better place.

Of course it’s perfectly acceptable that you and Billy, now that you’re becoming Mr.-and-Mr., to incorporate 1950s Wife-values into your daily routine.

Having spent so many years in the Florida sun, Billy may chaff at first at being kept in the house most of the day cleaning house, cooking your meals and laundering your clothes. His previous routine of 84 hours a week in the gym should help in the adjustment, as will Iowa’s eight-month winters.

While proper housekeeping is certainly strenuous, it probably doesn’t burn as many calories as pumping iron 12 hours every day. As you don’t want to risk losing your sexual desire for Billy by him getting all flabby with “man boobs” and a big fat gut, you should limit his diet to 1500 calories a day of fruit, nuts and protein shakes.

Allow him one hour out of his 12-hour housekeeping day to devote to push-ups  jumping jacks, “Burpees” and other calisthenics and weightlifting. While he’s working out, you should require Billy to recite phrases to remind him that the purpose of keeping a toned body to please you.

When I do my 15 minutes of eight-pound curls, my husband requires me to recite “I must, I must, I must increase my bust.” I suggest a more gender-appropriate song for Billy such as “I best, I best, I best increase my pecs.”

As far as Billy’s daily costume is concerned, remember that it’s your needs that count, not his fashion sensibility. Whether you prefer him in preppy gear, or leather vest and hot pants with “butt flaps” that unzip, or cross-dressed, he should wear his outfit with pride and not be shy about greeting the mailman, home repair guy and other daily visitors while wearing sexy clothes.

Billy should be made to greet you upon your arrival home each night with a martini in hand and a kiss on the lips.

My Hubby prefers to spend cocktail hour sitting in his easy chair sipping his drink while I sit on the floor massaging his feet, all the while “oohing-and-ahhing” as he recounts his businesses successes that day. You should engage in similar relaxation, perhaps reclining back in your chair while Billy feeds you fat grapes. Once refreshed, you can reciprocate by feeding him your “fat banana.”

When dinnertime comes, have Billy serve you first. Once you’ve tucked in to your steak tartar or roast duck, Billy can sit down to his 400-calorie oatmeal-and-yogurt spread.

While Billy’s busy washing the dishes, you should retire to the living room to review your lecture for Billy and limber up your “spanking arm.”

Whether rules are broken or not, nightly spanking is a necessity in the early months of marriage. Even if Billy isn't silly, pretending that you’re displeased will encourage him to do better. As my husband likes to remind me, the head of the household doesn’t need a specific reason to spank.

Spankings are for my benefit and his pleasure, Hubby says, and I should always remember to be grateful. If I voice the slightest protest about a spanking being unfair, I get spanked harder.

Once you’ve blistered his bottom, Billy should arise from your lap, bow, kiss you softly on the cheek and say “Thank you Daddy for spanking me so hard. I know you do it because you love me and care about how I behave.”

Then you and he may retire to the bedroom for three hours of bed-shaking sex.

Congrats again on getting hitched! If you need my recipe for beer ice cream and fried beef jerky for ‘ours devours for the reception, please write.

Hot off the Presses: "The Best of 1950s Wife"

Critics agree: Marital advice dispensed by 1950s Wife can’t be beat! An internet sensation since 2011, 1950s Wife’s sage advice suggesting spanking, cornertime and other corporal discipline for naughty wives is sure to promote a happy home.

And now you can have your own copy of ten of her best columns for ready read on your Kindle via Amazon.com for the reasonable price of $2.99 by clicking this link "The Best of 1950s Wife"

“The Best of 1950s Wife” includes such gems as “Spanking and Soap Paste for the Wife Who Won’t ‘Swallow’,” “Usefulness of ‘Bulls-Eye Spanking Panties’ in Wife Training,” “Are Hippie Husbands Acceptable,” “Silly Wife Spanked for Operation Main Street Stunt” and many other pearls of wisdom.

Don’t delay. Get your copy today. And always remember: You don’t have to live in the 1950s to be a “1950s Wife.”

The Spanking Mother-in-Law and Other Fun Pinterest Pics

Critics agree: My new Pinterest blog "The 1950s Well Spanked Wife" can't be beat. It's the best thing since sliced bread! Maybe even better. Here are a few of my latest "pins."

Husbands take heed! In the early years of marriage, it's best to have mother-in stay over and assume spanking duties when you're away on business trips. Once the wife reaches her 30s, she can be trusted to spend a day or two on her own without slacking on housework or cheating on her diet.

As manly men, 1950s-style husbands are infatuated with technology. My husband's pride-and-joy is his state-of-the-art slide projector. Normally he shows slides from our excursions in the Great Outdoors.

But, when Hubby recently invited the neighbors by to view pics of "color season," instead of photos of fall foliage from our trip to New England, he showed slides of my spanked ass! Boy oh boy, was I embarrassed! But I must admit the "reds," "purples" and "blacks" from the paddle bruises, cane stripes and hand marks make a wonderful palette.

What a smooth-talking man this lucky gal has! My husband doesn't believe in being so effusive in his compliments. A grunt from Hubby at dinner is all I need to reassure me I've prepared an acceptable meal and put a big smile on my face!

For more fun photos and illustrations check out my Pinterest blog "The 1950s Well Spanked Wife'

Don't delay. Start "pinning" today!

"Pinterest": Appropriate Hobby for the Submissive Wife?

Dear 1950s Wife,

For the longest time, my husband wouldn’t buy me a computer tablet because he figured I’d waste time Facebooking, Twittering and watching “I Love Lucy” re-runs on You Tube when I should be cleaning house, cooking dinner and washing his clothes.

But after hearing from other 1950s-style husbands about useful computer applications for increasing housewife productivity, he bought me a computer tablet for my birthday. It’s been so helpful in keeping me on my toes.

For example, with the camera phone function, rather than taking my word for it, Hubby can visually inspect the house in his regular calls home during the workday to make sure on I’m on schedule.

Times before, I’ve been apt to take short cuts in the morning, such as giving the attic windowsills a quick once-over with the feather duster rather than a sound cleaning, in the hopes of freeing up time to watch my favorite soap opera. Then I’d down an afternoon “pick-me-up” of energy drink, three packets of sugar and a diet pill and “power clean” to catch up.

Now that I’m no longer tempted, I make steady progress through the day and give the attic windowsills the attention they deserve. And, by foregoing my afternoon tonic, I’ve gained five pounds in back, which makes Hubby’s spankings hurt less. Plus my breasts are once again full enough to balance the breakfast tray when I serve Hubby his bacon, eggs, coffee and toast in the morning.

They’re other great apps Hubby installed, including streaming music of John Phillips Sousa marching songs that are great for keeping time as I launder and iron, as well as a fabulous “time-and-motion calculator” that specifies the appropriate length for each household task down to the tenth of a second.

By implementing these measures, I’ve freed up seventeen minutes in my day, which affords me the opportunity to resume my cherished hobby of knitting Christmas sweaters for Hubby, Dear Ol’ Dad, uncles, brother-in-laws, nephews and male cousins in the family.

Of course Hubby refuses to allow Facebook, Twitter, You Tube and other time-wasting applications on my tablet. But, as sign of how pleased he is with my housekeeping and curvier figure, he’s decided I may install one recreational computer application on my tablet and expend eight of those extra 17 daily minutes on some “me time.”

After thinking about it, I’m going with Pinterest. All my non-submissive gal pals use it and they’re just a gaga about the neat “pin boards” you can find.

I told Hubby and he says OK as long as I don’t look at anything inappropriate such as boards advocating feminism and other liberal politics. But, as avid readers of your blog, we agree that I should check with you first for recommendations.

Do you know of any Pinterest boards especially appropriate for the submissive wife?

Good woman,

Interesting that you should ask for I just the other day heard word of a fantastic new Pinterest board, "The 1950s Well Spanked Wife" by Claire Colinsgrove.

While my husband normally allows me to use the internet just to post to this blog, in the interest of researching the noble practice of “wife spanking” and other cherished aspects of the 1950s lifestyle, I took a look. Certainly “The 1950s Well Spanked Wife” should be required reading for all submissive wives and dominant husbands, as well as vanilla couples willing to check it out as they certainly could learn a thing or two.

Along with hilarious 1950s-era “spanking cartoons” that celebrate the time when a husband wasn’t afraid to put his naughty wife over his knee and paddle her pert posterior, the board also includes totally awesome so-called “sexist ads” of the 1950s and 60s.

And for you gals whose husbands let you look at racier fare, Mrs. Colinsgrove also has a Tumblr blog "Well Disciplined Wives" The blog consists of far-out photos she’s found online of “ball gags, chastity belts, punishment outfits, restraints, shivery pre-spanking suspense, submissive posturing and all that good stuff for keeping submissive wives.”

Photos are NSFW and posted for artistic purposes only. You must be 18 years old or older to read the blog.

"2001: A Spank Odyssey" or "How Stanley Kubrick Ruined My Sex Life"

This story is now included in my latest anthology "The Best of 1950s Wife Vol. 2," which may be purchased for ready read on your Kindle from Amazon.com for the reasonable price of $2.99 by clicking this link: The Best of 1950s Wife

 

My New Blog: Notes From the "Naughty Chair"

Regretfully, 1950s Husband informed me that 1950s Wife drank a bit too much elderberry wine last night celebrating the Chicago Blackhawks setting the National Hockey League record for best season start ever.

(FYI, for those of you who aren’t cool like me and 1950s Wife and don’t keep up with the world’s greatest sport, the Hawks have gone 17 consecutive games without a loss in regulation time. Yes, the greatest team in the history of sports has 14 wins and three overtime losses where the other team got lucky in the “shootout.”

Hockey awards partial credit for obtaining a tie score in regulation time. That gives the Hawks 31 points in the standings, not that the regular standings matter anymore, as our team is a shoo-in for the playoffs and will of course win the coveted Stanley Cup.)

1950s Husband says he told 1950s Wife to come up to bed with him after the game ended because she had a big day ahead cooking his meals, cleaning house and washing his clothes. But, under the influence of three glasses of wine, 1950s Wife told Hubby he could “stick it in the back of his five-hole” because she was going out for a proper “celly” with the other “hockey rockets” and “hockey bros” at the town tavern.

Luckily, 1950s Husband chased 1950s Wife down before she got to the car. Hubby marched her back to the house, took her upstairs to the bedroom, turned her over his knee, lifted her skirt, lowered her panties and spanked her so soundly with the “naughty girl paddle” that she screamed “Daddy, please Daddy, don’t spank me so hard. I’ll be good.”

In addition, 1950s Husband grounded 1950s Wife for at least two weeks with no computer and no hockey on TV.

So, in the few hours that the “in-crowd” (that’s you and me, dear readers) doesn’t spend watching the Blackhawks, reading about the Blackhawks, thinking about the Blackhawks and knitting Blackhawks sweaters for significant others, I invite you to check out my new blog “Notes from the Naughty Chair” as alternative entertainment. The link is http://naughtychair4claire.blogspot.com/

And if you get a chance, e-mail 1950s Wife updates on the upcoming Blackhawks games. She’s going to sneak a peek at the computer while Hubby’s away at work. He put a lock on the screen, but she’s confident she can crack the code.