Saturday, August 27, 2011

Marriage Proposal From a "Younger Man"

Dear 1950s Wife:

I've been dating this wonderful fellow for a year now and he recently "popped the question." I love him dearly, but, sadly, he is only eight years older than me. My parents say he is far too young to be "marriage material." It will break my heart to call off the engagement. Whatever am I to do?

Good woman:

1950s Wife is generally of the opinion that a fiance should be at least 15 years older than his betrothed to ensure sufficient maturity necessary to guide his helpmate. However, in very rare occasions, a suitable match with a "younger man" is possible provided the father of the bride-to-be makes suitable investigation.

Invite this fellow over for dinner so your father can have a long talk with the young man in his study prior to supper. If the conversation assures Daddy of your suitor's intelligence and judgment, the young man must clear another hurdle: After you serve your parents and boyfriend dinner and stand silently by the table with your hands on your head while they finish their meals, your fellow should take you over his knee, lift your skirt, lower your panties and give you the spanking of your life.

Daddy should keep a sharp eye as to vigor of arm and strength of disposition. Your boyfriend must ignore your screams and not let you up until your bottom is bright red and you're bawling your eyes out. Then he must make you kneel before him, kiss his hand and say "thank you, Sir, for spanking me so hard, I know you do it because you love me and care how I behave." After that he may give you a reassuring hug and pat on the bottom and send you off to eat your supper (no desert) with your plate on your lap as you sit in the corner. (Paddle swats from Daddy if you spill your food.)

Provided he passes this exam, your boyfriend may graduate to fiance with the blessings of 1950s Wife.

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