"Girly Ball," the Latest Sporting Craze

Dear 1950s Wife:

With warm weather upon us, our town's submissive wives will soon take the field for another season of "Girly Ball" -- a sport our husbands love to watch us play but isn't always so much fun for me and teammates.

Girly Ball is essentially touch football. But instead of jerseys and jeans, our uniforms consist of tight white sweaters with push-up bras underneath, teeny-tiny plaid skirts that barely cover our bottoms, white knee socks and saddle shoes.

Our white panties include Velcro straps across the middle affixed to which are red ribbons long enough for the bottom six inches to fall past the end of our skirts. Instead of "touching" the opponent, a successful tackle requires ripping the ribbon off the ball carrier’s behind.

As you might imagine, our husbands find it highly amusing to watch their wives scampering across the field in our tight sweaters and embarrassingly-short "naughty schoolgirl" skirts as we try to snatch ribbons off each others' backsides.

Being that we're "girly girls," plenty of slap-fighting and hair-pulling takes place during play. And along with yardage being assessed for fouls, offending players get paddle swats from the referee and must stand in the penalty box for a set amount of time in "touch-toes-position."

And there's more paddling for some of us at the end of the game. As motivation to play hard throughout the contest, the winning team's players get to administer paddle swats to the losing team's backsides: one lick for every point in the margin of victory.

As we're spanked so much by our husbands, it's so much fun to turn the tables when we win and hand out licks full force. But whenever we lose, the victorious team is sure to return the favor.

After the paddling, all the players kick off their saddle shoes and scamper into a shallow duck pond at field's edge. We must squat down for several minutes so the water is at chin level. (The losing team must keep this position for five extra minutes.)

Boy oh boy, that pond sure is cold this time of year. And even in the summer when the water is warmer, it's so uncomfortable especially when feel I feel tadpoles slithering across my legs

Once thoroughly soaked, we stand up in the pond and spend several minutes posing for our husbands. They like us to throw back our hair and stick out our chests, our drenched sweaters showing off our cleavage to full effect, and to lift our skirts so they can admire front and back views of our soaked panties.

Once we're let out of the pond, the losing team must do calisthenics for several minutes. Then we're finally allowed to towel off and change clothes. There's no locker room, so we girls form a human circle so each player can change out of her drippy outfit one-by-one.

If my team loses, I also get spanked by my husband when we get home. So I sure hope we have a good team this year.

My husband's in the backyard and I just heard his training whistle blow. Got to go run laps around the house.

Good woman:

"Girly Ball," what a fantastic sport!

I shall certainly show my husband your letter so he can tell the other husbands about this fun game. I'm confident the sport will soon catch on in our town.

"Girly Ball" sounds like so much fun! So sad to be in my late 40s and thus far too old for such a vigorous sport. I limit my exercise these days to high-speed vacuum cleaning, mopping, ironing and other aerobic activities.

Spanked at Bridge Night: Who's the "Dummy" Now?

Dear 1950s Wife:

To emphasize our adherence to the 1950s lifestyle, my husband and I and other traditionally-minded couples in town play bridge.

At last night's game, I couldn't help but giggle when the host announced that it was my husband's turn to be the "dummy."

Hubby immediately called a halt to card game and asked the host if he could borrow his paddle. The host sent his wife to their bedroom to fetch the implement and she returned with this 16-inch paddle with holes.

Hubby ordered me to bend over and touch my toes. Then he lifted my skirt, pulled down my panties and gave me two dozen licks with all his might. I screamed after each swat and before I'd even had six licks I was bawling like a baby and calling out: "Please stop Daddy, please. It hurts so much!"

After my paddling, my husband took me to the guest bedroom to wash off my tear streaks and nose snot with a damp washcloth. Then I had to stand in the corner of the living room for the rest of the bridge game with my bare bottom on display.

Of course the men commented throughout the evening on my bruised behind, telling their wives  they would be paddled just as hard if they ever showed such disrespect to them as I had to my husband.

As a proper submissive wife, I support my husband's right to spank me that night, even though I never meant to snicker when the host asked him to play the role of "dummy" at bridge. But I'm afraid even more punishment is in store.

I must play the "dummy" at the next five bridge games.

Rather than laying my cards face-up on the table, I'm going to have to stand in the middle of the table with my bare bottom on display with the cards taped to my behind. And it's going to be extra painful when the cards are ripped off my backside because my husband's going to spank me soundly in front of all the guests at the beginning of each game to ensure my bottom is extra tender.

I know I shouldn't have gone "tee-hee" when the host asked my husband to play the "dummy" at last night's game. But don't you think Hubby is taking my punishment too far?

Good woman:

If you're serious about that question, you really are a dummy.

Birthday Girl Paddled for Lying to 1950s Wife

One of my regular readers commented that she was very concerned that the wife who was subject of yesterday's post reported no birthday present, even though she was hand-spanked twice, caned and paddled by her husband all while dressed in her "birthday suit."

I was also concerned about the wife receiving no birthday present so I sent an e-mail to the husband. It turns out his wife had indeed been given a nice birthday present that morning -- a state-of-the-art ironing board -- but young madam left that part out in her message to me as an unsuccessful ploy to gain sympathy. Can you believe it??!!

The wife couldn't enjoy her new ironing board on her birthday, as the husband felt having access to clothes would tempt her to violate his sound rule that she spend her entire birthday dressed in her "birthday suit." But he advised that she has been enjoying the board all day today ironing his shirts and pants.

Young madam will be presented by her husband with a different sort of board this evening: 12 swats with the "naughty girl" paddle on her bare backside as punishment for being less-than-truthful in her e-mail to me.

I was also please to hear that the couple's night-on-the-town with the wife commanded to wear a short, tight "newspaper dress" went well. Young madam was extremely careful in walking, sitting and standing so the dress wouldn't tear. And several couples comprised of dominant husbands/submissive wives came by the restaurant table to complement young madam on her dress and ask where to buy similar costumes.

Once her ironing is finished, young madam will be hard at work making made-to-order "newspaper dresses" for all the submissive wives in town. With the extra money from wife's dressmaking covering the husband's beer and beef jerky expenses for the rest of football season, he'll be able to buy her that new vacuum cleaner he's had his eye on for her birthday present next year.

Paddles with Holes

Dear 1950s Wife:

My husband spanks me with his hand for most offenses, but when I'm really naughty he uses a paddle with holes on my bare bottom. When he's finished whipping me, I have :) visible on one cheek and :( on the other. My husband says the design emphasizes that paddling is lots of fun for him and a real tragedy for me!

Paddlings hurt like heck, but what's worse is my husband sometimes uses humiliation afterwards. The other night he paddled my posterior right before we left for a dinner party. When we got there, he told the guests I'd been really bad and must stand in the corner for 30 minutes before supper with my bare bottom on display.

All the men laughed really hard at the :) :( marks on my bottom. But their wives didn't think it was so funny, especially because the men asked my husband to make them the same type paddle.

My husband will be really busy in his wood shop this week. And he says he'll test all the paddles on me to make sure he got the :) :( marks just right. Whatever am I to do?

Good woman:

Paddles with holes are excellent tools for wife training. I commend your husband for his choice of design. I love a man with a sense of humor!

The paddle my husband uses on me has I < heart > Hubby drilled into it and of course I stand in the corner afterwards with my bare bottom on display so Hubby can admire his work. He usually prefers the deep red hue of just the paddling as background, but sometimes sharply pinches my bottom at various places to provide a decorative edging to the lettering.

It's your wifely duty to serve as test subject for the paddles your husband makes for the other men. I trust they'll pay a reasonble fee for materials and labor and I'm sure your husband will spend the money wisely. Whenever my husband comes into a financial windfall, he buys beer, potato chips, knicknacks for his "man cave" and other useful items.

Humilation such as public cornertime is good for you as it aids in wifely submission. I hope you'll be standing in the corner before guests many times in future with your bright red bottom on display, the men laughing and the women murmuring in sympathy.