Spanked at Bridge Night: Who's the "Dummy" Now?

Dear 1950s Wife:

To emphasize our adherence to the 1950s lifestyle, my husband and I and other traditionally-minded couples in town play bridge.

At last night's game, I couldn't help but giggle when the host announced that it was my husband's turn to be the "dummy."

Hubby immediately called a halt to card game and asked the host if he could borrow his paddle. The host sent his wife to their bedroom to fetch the implement and she returned with this 16-inch paddle with holes.

Hubby ordered me to bend over and touch my toes. Then he lifted my skirt, pulled down my panties and gave me two dozen licks with all his might. I screamed after each swat and before I'd even had six licks I was bawling like a baby and calling out: "Please stop Daddy, please. It hurts so much!"

After my paddling, my husband took me to the guest bedroom to wash off my tear streaks and nose snot with a damp washcloth. Then I had to stand in the corner of the living room for the rest of the bridge game with my bare bottom on display.

Of course the men commented throughout the evening on my bruised behind, telling their wives  they would be paddled just as hard if they ever showed such disrespect to them as I had to my husband.

As a proper submissive wife, I support my husband's right to spank me that night, even though I never meant to snicker when the host asked him to play the role of "dummy" at bridge. But I'm afraid even more punishment is in store.

I must play the "dummy" at the next five bridge games.

Rather than laying my cards face-up on the table, I'm going to have to stand in the middle of the table with my bare bottom on display with the cards taped to my behind. And it's going to be extra painful when the cards are ripped off my backside because my husband's going to spank me soundly in front of all the guests at the beginning of each game to ensure my bottom is extra tender.

I know I shouldn't have gone "tee-hee" when the host asked my husband to play the "dummy" at last night's game. But don't you think Hubby is taking my punishment too far?

Good woman:

If you're serious about that question, you really are a dummy.

"Naughty Charts" and Demerit Books for Wives

Dear 1950s Wife:

For major misbehavior, my husband spanks me on the spot with this stingy OTK paddle that hurts like heck. But for minor misdemeanors, he puts a checkmark on a "naughty chart" he's stuck to the refrigerator.

Along with minor housekeeping errors, some of the things I get checkmarks for include forgetting to call my husband "Daddy," not curtsying after he's given me a command or failing to address every man I speak to at least 21 years of age or older as "sir." Once he's put a sufficient number of checkmarks on my chart, my husband marks up my bare bottom with his cane: one stripe for every check.

Our refrigerator was on the blink, so the repairman came by the other day while my husband was at work. Of course he saw my chart with my name in big bold letters and plenty of check marks next to descriptions of my misdeeds.

The repairman told me, "My, my, you folks sure are strict with your daughter." As my husband forbids me to lie, I had to admit that we have no children. The repairman chuckled and starting calling me "little missy" rather than "ma'am." It was really embarrassing.

As a good submissive wife, I agree with my husband spanking me. But don't you think he's going overboard using a naughty chart? Can't he just keep track of stuff I do wrong in his head?

Good woman:

Goodness, gracious me, of course he's not being excessive in using a chart.

Keeping accurate records is a manly virtue. While it may be hard for we womenfolk with our flighty ways to understand, men are drawn to facts, figures and the "bottom line." That's why they're so much better suited than the fair sex for the business world!

Along with accuracy, posting a naughty chart on the refrigerator where visitors can see provides you a much needed dose of humilation. The teasing you receive helps keep you humble and submissive, qualities the good wife strives to present all the time.

However, I don't agree with the repairman calling you "little missy" rather than "ma'am." To prevent a repairman from taking such liberties in future, an older male relative who's retired should come by to chaperon if repairs must be done while your husband's at work. This procedure will also ensure the work is done properly, as I'm certain you're like most women, me included, and have absolutely no idea how mechanical things operate.

Due to my zeal for obedience, my husband decided the humiliation of posting a "naughty chart" on the refrigerator isn't needed to accompany my spankings. However, I do keep a demerit book to write down all the little things he catches me doing wrong. (Like you, I'm also spanked immediately for major offenses.)

Whenever I've accumulated sufficient demerits, Hubby puts me over his knee, bares my bottom and spanks my naughty behind. I must read aloud from my demerit book while he's spanking me, which can be hard to do because I'm usually crying so loud near the end that it's hard to talk.

Once the spanking is concluded, I kneel before my husband, kiss his hand and say "Thank you Daddy for spanking me so hard. I know you do it because you love me and care how I behave."

Wife Spanked Soundly in Her "Birthday Suit"

Dear 1950s Wife,

Along with spanking me most days either for discipline or his enjoyment, my husband spanks me soundly on my birthday. Of course I don't object to birthday spankings (or any other kind), but I'm unhappy that he makes me wear my "birthday suit" all day long on that special day.

When the clock strikes 12:01 a.m. on my birthday, I undress and sleep in the nude.  I rise in the morning and make my husband a hearty breakfast and sit down with him butt naked at the table to enjoy my yogurt and low-calorie cereal.

Once we're done eating, my husband takes me over to the couch, turns me over his knee, and spanks me ten times my age with one to grow on leaving my bottom bright red.

If it's a weekday, my husband goes to work. If it's a weekend, he goes to play golf. Either way, I stay inside naked all day doing housework and cooking dinner with my clothes closet locked tight.

My birthday was a few days ago. I was busy darning a pair of my husband's socks when I heard the mailman pull up. Normally, I wouldn't dare go outside on my birthday but my favorite fashion magazine was due to be delivered that day. So I used the morning newspaper to fashion a paper skirt and top and snuck out to retrieve the mail.

Unfortunately, there wasn't enough paper from the funnies and women's section to complete my outfit. I didn't dare touch the business section and sports, but did use that day's editorial page to finish up.

I didn't think I'd get caught because my husband already read the editorial section at breakfast, but it turns out there was a column he thought was so good that he wanted to read it again at dinner. He asked me what happened to the newspaper and, boy oh boy, was he ever upset when I confessed.

I got 12 swats with the "naughty girl paddle" for going outside wearing a paper dress and six stripes with the cane for using the newspaper's editorial section as material. Then my husband turned me over his knee and I got hand spanked ten times my age with one to grow on just like in the morning. Ouchy, Ouchy!!

The worst part is yet to come. I must make a very short, tight dress out of newspaper to wear when we go out to eat tomorrow night. I'm going to have to be very careful in walking, sitting down and standing up, else the dress will rip and I'll be butt naked in the restaurant with my husband and the other patrons laughing at me.

After we get home, my husband is going to rip that dress off of me, turn me over his knee and spank me so hard that I holler "Daddy, please Daddy, I'll be good!"

I know I was naughty, but isn't my husband being a tad excessive?

Good woman:

Of course not! Two hand spankings, ten paddle swats, a six-stripe caning and the embarrassment of a night out on the town wearing a "newspaper dress" is by no means excessive punishment for such naughtiness.

While I commend you for not using the business sports sections as material for your paper dress worn to the mailbox, the editorial section is still sacrosanct.

My husband entertains me each morning at breakfast by reading that day's newspaper editorial aloud with commentary as to its wisdom or lack thereof. Among my daily chores is using a colored felt tip pen to highlight sections of the editorial and political columns that he considers important. This affords my husband greater efficiency in writing his many letters to the newspaper's editor on important issues of the day.

Though you have another sound spanking in store for you tomorrow night, look on the bright side: you can market the newspaper dress you wear to the restaurant as the next fashion craze. If it takes off, your husband will have extra money for beer, beef jerky, and other household essentials and may be able to buy you a new vacuum cleaner or other luxury gift for your next birthday!

Spending Football Season With My Nose in the Corner

(American) professional football kicks off Sunday.

I hope wives are busy making pigs-in-a-blanket and other tasty treats, polishing television screens and performing other household chores needed to make your husbands' big day a special one. And please don't spoil your menfolk's enjoyment by asking silly questions that take attention from the game such as "why do they call it football when the players' feet hardly ever hit the ball?," "what inning is it?," and "they called a penalty so why isn't the player sent to the penalty box?"

Being an inquisitive sort and unable to grasp the rules of football, early in my marriage I usually found myself on football Sunday standing in the corner with a stinging red behind a few minutes into the first quarter for "talking too much." After ten years together, I've learned to follow a strict routine.

After laying out a tasty spread on the coffee table in front of the TV for my husband's enjoyment, I sit in a chair facing a corner of the living room during the warm-up game and busy myself with darning my husband's socks, knitting him a Christmas sweater or other needle work. In the break before the second game when the home team plays, I retire to the bedroom and put on a naughty cheerleader's outfit.

About that time, a couple of my husband's single friends show up to watch the game. I go downstairs and entertain them with cheers about what great guys they are, how lucky their girlfriends are to have them and that I hope they takes pains to blister their beloveds' backsides when they're naughty.

Right at kickoff, I take my customary position across my husband's lap with my pleated cheerleader skirt flipped up and a hairbrush resting on top of my "spankies" (underwear), which by the way have "I < heart > Hubby" stitched on them.

When the visiting team scores, my husband gives me a stinging spank with the brush for every point to vent his frustration. When the home team scores, he gives me two harder spanks for every point to signify his celebration. Of course he starts from zero-zero after every scoring play in calculating the number of spanks.

At game's conclusion his friends leave. I clean up and put away the leftovers while my husband goes down to the basement to spend 20 minutes on his rowing machine burning off calories from pigs-in-a-blanket and beer he's consumed.

Then we go upstairs and I put on some sexy lingerie. If the home team loses, I get a punishment paddling and am sent to bed with no supper to remind me to cheer harder next time. Then my husband goes into the computer room to smoke cigars all night while composing angry posts to the team's coach on his blog. If the home team wins, I get light OTK with the hand to warm me and hubby up, then we have hot sex all night.

I sure hope the home team has a winning record this year with lots of low-scoring games!

Bad Driving Equals Sound Spanking

Dear 1950s Wife,

I ran over the mailbox by accident when I pulled into our driveway the other day. Upon confessing my misdeed, my husband put me over his knee, lifted my skirt, lowered my panties and spanked my bottom with a smallish paddle-with-holes that he uses on me for major offenses. He paddled my posterior until tears streamed down my face and I screamed "Daddy, please Daddy, don't spank me anymore!"

While I submissively support his husbandly duty to administer that discipline, additional punishment is in store a few days later when another couple comes to our house for bridge night. Prior to the card game, I must read aloud an essay I'm to write on why women are inherently bad drivers and must be extra careful behind the wheel. Then my husband will turn me over his lap and spank my bare bottom again, this time with his hand. Then I must stand in the corner of the living room with my skirt tucked up, panties down, and my red behind on display for the rest of the evening.

Isn't this a tad excessive?

Good woman:

Of course not.

Recognizing that women are naturally poor drivers, my husband forbids me to drive except for trips to the grocery store. On my way there, I must go no faster than 15 mph and, in parking the car, must use a space way far back in the lot away from other cars to prevent nicks and scratches. Though I'm pleased to say that I've never had an accident, I still enthusiastically support my husband's giving me regular "reminder spankings" to reinforce safe driving.

Two spankings, writing an essay, and a night of cornertime is certainly not excessive punishment for running your mailbox over. And if you can't find a fourth to take your place for bridge, you must be spanked for that too!

Husband Makes Me Call Him "Daddy"

Dear 1950s Wife:

My girlfriends tease me because they think it's strange that my husband makes me call him "Daddy" at home and in public.

Good woman:

1950s Wife firmly believes 1) teasing is good for you because it enhances wifely submission; and 2) your girlfriends are the ones who're strange.

1950s Wife proudly notes that she has never once in ten years of marriage broken my husband's command that I refer to him as "Daddy" at all times and in all places. And, despite my perfect record, I support Daddy's wise decision to regularly spank, paddle and cane my bare backside to reinforce this rule and others that promote proper behavior on my part. Whenever acquaintances arch their eyebrow's at my use of the term, I simply tell them "I call my husband 'Daddy' because he loves me, cares about my behavior and, whenever I am naughty, turns me over his knee, lifts my skirt, takes down my panties and spanks my bare bottom cherry red!"

I strongly suggest you offer the same explanation to your friends!

Lost Job at Candy Factory and Spanked by Hubby :(

Dear 1950s Wife:

I lost my job at the candy factory after just one day because I couldn't keep up on the assembly line. I tried really hard to put the candy in the boxes but they rolled by so fast that I couldn't keep pace. I got so far behind that I ended up stuffing a bunch of candies in my mouth, but the forewoman caught me and fired me on the spot!

When I got home, my husband put me over his knee and spanked me until I cried for losing my job, then made me stand in the corner for an hour. After that, he spanked me again really hard for going off my diet by eating candy. And he says I have to look for a new job tomorrow! I try to tell him that "a woman's place is in the home," but he won't listen. Is he being unfair?

Good woman:

Unfair by tanning your bottom twice in one night? Of course not! If you mean unfair by making you look for work, 1950s Wife is generally of the opinion that "a woman's place is in the home." However, just as "Rosie the Riveter" did her duty during World War 2, in these troubled economic times an exception may be made to the rule.

As you're clearly unfit for assembly line work, 1950s Wife suggests an alternative: humbly apologize to the forewoman and ask if you can at least be paid minimum wage for being made a daily example of the risk of assembly line idleness. Your husband can drop you off at the factory on his way to work. Before letting you out of the car, he should put you across his lap and spank your bottom scarlet red. Then you can spend the next eight hours standing in the corner in front of the assembly line with your skirt tucked up and your bright red bottom on display. This will aid the factory's productivity by reminding female workers of what awaits them at home by slacking off and losing their jobs, as well as improving your moral disposition by reinforcing your womanly duty to be submissive at work and home.