Friday, September 23, 2011

Wife Spanked Soundly in Her "Birthday Suit"

Dear 1950s Wife,

Along with spanking me most days either for discipline or his enjoyment, my husband spanks me soundly on my birthday. Of course I don't object to birthday spankings (or any other kind), but I'm unhappy that he makes me wear my "birthday suit" all day long on that special day.

When the clock strikes 12:01 a.m. on my birthday, I undress and sleep in the nude.  I rise in the morning and make my husband a hearty breakfast and sit down with him butt naked at the table to enjoy my yogurt and low-calorie cereal.

Once we're done eating, my husband takes me over to the couch, turns me over his knee, and spanks me ten times my age with one to grow on leaving my bottom bright red.

If it's a weekday, my husband goes to work. If it's a weekend, he goes to play golf. Either way, I stay inside naked all day doing housework and cooking dinner with my clothes closet locked tight.

My birthday was a few days ago. I was busy darning a pair of my husband's socks when I heard the mailman pull up. Normally, I wouldn't dare go outside on my birthday but my favorite fashion magazine was due to be delivered that day. So I used the morning newspaper to fashion a paper skirt and top and snuck out to retrieve the mail.

Unfortunately, there wasn't enough paper from the funnies and women's section to complete my outfit. I didn't dare touch the business section and sports, but did use that day's editorial page to finish up.

I didn't think I'd get caught because my husband already read the editorial section at breakfast, but it turns out there was a column he thought was so good that he wanted to read it again at dinner. He asked me what happened to the newspaper and, boy oh boy, was he ever upset when I confessed.

I got 12 swats with the "naughty girl paddle" for going outside wearing a paper dress and six stripes with the cane for using the newspaper's editorial section as material. Then my husband turned me over his knee and I got hand spanked ten times my age with one to grow on just like in the morning. Ouchy, Ouchy!!

The worst part is yet to come. I must make a very short, tight dress out of newspaper to wear when we go out to eat tomorrow night. I'm going to have to be very careful in walking, sitting down and standing up, else the dress will rip and I'll be butt naked in the restaurant with my husband and the other patrons laughing at me.

After we get home, my husband is going to rip that dress off of me, turn me over his knee and spank me so hard that I holler "Daddy, please Daddy, I'll be good!"

I know I was naughty, but isn't my husband being a tad excessive?

Good woman:

Of course not! Two hand spankings, ten paddle swats, a six-stripe caning and the embarrassment of a night out on the town wearing a "newspaper dress" is by no means excessive punishment for such naughtiness.

While I commend you for not using the business sports sections as material for your paper dress worn to the mailbox, the editorial section is still sacrosanct.

My husband entertains me each morning at breakfast by reading that day's newspaper editorial aloud with commentary as to its wisdom or lack thereof. Among my daily chores is using a colored felt tip pen to highlight sections of the editorial and political columns that he considers important. This affords my husband greater efficiency in writing his many letters to the newspaper's editor on important issues of the day.

Though you have another sound spanking in store for you tomorrow night, look on the bright side: you can market the newspaper dress you wear to the restaurant as the next fashion craze. If it takes off, your husband will have extra money for beer, beef jerky, and other household essentials and may be able to buy you a new vacuum cleaner or other luxury gift for your next birthday!


  1. All those spankings and he didn't even buy her a birthday present!! Geesh!!

  2. Good point Christina. I also was very concerned about no birthday present, so I contacted the husband by e-mail. It turns out young madam left out that important detail on purpose in an unsuccessful ploy to gain sympathy from me. She received a nice present after all. See my main page for details.

  3. Once again, you've written a humorous story!


    P.S. I'm so glad I'm not that naughty wife, lol!