Wife Trained by "Pitch-Pipe Discipline"

A Gentleman writes:

1950s Wife, I will soon be married. Immediately on return from our honeymoon, I plan to implement a no-nonsense daily routine for my wife enforced by crisp commands to make my breakfast, make our bed, clean house, cook dinner, etc.., all reinforced by sound bare-bottom spankings should she tarry. The problem is that I sing in a barbershop quartet in the evenings and need to preserve my voice. Do you find training with the pitch pipe effective?

Kind Sir:

Such training would not work for 1950s Wife, as I'm tone deaf. The good news is that I've heard such discipline is effective for musically-inclined couples. Patience is required as your wife learns which "toot" on your pitch pipe corresponds with which chore. But once a reasonable time is given for her to learn, she must jump to the calls of your pitch pipe as she would to the sound of her master's voice. If she lingers in the slightest, turn her over your knee, lift her skirt, pull down her panties and spank her silly!

For the sake of our marriage, given my tin ear, I'm glad my husband does not sing in a barbershop quartet and can order me about throughout the day with voice commands.