"Miss ENFP" Meet "Mr. ISTJ," the Perfect Psychologically-Matched D/s Couple

Dear 1950s Wife:

Have you heard of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test? My gal pals, submissive and non-, say it’s essential that a couple contemplating marriage take it to ensure they’re appropriately matched.

Boy oh boy, I sure hope they’re right because I recently kicked my fiance to the curb based on his shocking result on the exam.

You can find the quiz online and we took it together the other night. I went first and wasn’t at all my surprised to learn that I’m an “ENFP” with strong psychological preferences for extroversion vs. introversion, intuition vs. sensation, feeling vs. thinking and perceiving vs. judging.

As a vivacious “girly girl,” naturally I love chatting and texting with my gal pals on my smart phone and flirting with handsome men at social gatherings.

If it wasn’t for the fact that Daddy checks my cell phone usage, even though I’m 26 years old and pay the bill myself, and spanks me soundly for exceeding my allotted minutes, I’d probably be on the phone 16 hours a day.

And since we became a couple, my ex-fiance kept my innate desire to be “belle of the ball” in check by turning me over his knee when I engaged in excessive conversation with other men at dinner parties.

As a woman, naturally I use my intuition and feelings to make decisions, knowing that I can always rely on Daddy or a boyfriend to correct me if I stray. As my Mama says, “God made men stronger thinkers compared to women for a reason, the same reason He blessed women with soft bottoms and men with firm hands.”

As far as perceiving vs. judging is concerned, as a selfless individual, I refrain from judging others except when it comes to bad haircuts or fashion faux pas. And I advocate looking beyond the plain meaning of a rule to achieve a just result tempered by mercy, especially when I’m trying to talk Daddy or a boyfriend out of spanking me.

Prior to taking the test, my friends told me that it didn’t matter that much if my fiance was shown to be an extrovert or an introvert.

But, as I’m a submissive woman looking to make a lifetime commitment to a dominant man, it’s essential that he show strong preferences for the manly characteristics of sensation, thinking and judging vs. the feminine psychological qualities of intuition, feeling and perceiving.

My fiance's scores were acceptably strong in sensation and judging. (And, FWIW, he showed a slight preference for extroversion.)

But imagine my horror when the test showed him having only a moderate preference for thinking over feeling!

With a lifetime of marital satisfaction at stake, I certainly couldn’t risk getting hitched to a “softy.” With such affinity for “feeling,” he might embarrass me by tearing up at sad scenes in movies or similar unmanly emotional displays.

And if he’s that in touch with his feminine side, for all I know I might surprise him coming home early from a “girls night out” to find him staring at the bathroom mirror dressed in a set of my pink panties, bra and camisole.

I must say that he certainly didn’t “take it like a man” when I took off my engagement ring and told him to hit the road. The way he carried on as I ushered him out the door bawling and blubbering that I had broken his heart. What a crybaby!

My parents were a bit upset when I broke the news, particularly as the wedding was only two days away and they’d already paid for the arrangements. But once I explained to them the importance of the test in predicting psychological compatibility, they understood.

To recover money spent paying for the wedding, Daddy fired the maid and I must work it off spending my weekends for the next six months cleaning my parents’ house. And Daddy says I’m getting spanked at the end of each weekend as punishment for not taking the psychological test before I accepted my ex-fiance's proposal.

If I knew six month’s worth of spankings were in store, I’m not sure I would have made the same decision. What do you think?

Good woman:

First let me say that your comment about possibly catching your fiance wearing your underwear as one of reasons for breaking your engagement is completely unfounded.

Cross-dressing is a perfectly acceptable hobby for the dominant man, as it’s attitude that counts, not choice of underclothes. If adorning himself in pink frillies in the privacy of his home gives a man pleasure, it’s the duty of the wife to support her husband in his choice.

That being said, of course you made the right decision in calling off the wedding. I’d not heard of this test before, but if men of science declare the proper match for an “ENFP submissive woman” is an “E or I + strong preference STJ dominant man,” then it’s folly to do otherwise.

(For you gals who don’t understand the part of the previous sentence that reads like an algebraic equation, get your husbands or boyfriends to translate.)

Besides, my quick internet research on the topic shows that the legendary psychologist Carl Jung had a hand in designing the test and everyone knows he was into spanking.

And for more info about this sort of personality test, here’s the Wikipedia link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator

Naughty North Shore Madam Taken Out to the Ballgame. Then Taken to Woodshed.

This story is now included in my latest anthology "The Best of 1950s Wife Vol. 2," which may be purchased for ready read on your Kindle from Amazon.com for the reasonable price of $2.99 by clicking this link: The Best of 1950s Wife Vol. 2

 

"Christian Chicks" Take Note: It's Cool to Submit

This story is now included in my latest anthology "The Best of 1950s Wife Vol. 2," which may be purchased for ready read on your Kindle from Amazon.com for the reasonable price of $2.99 by clicking this link: The Best of 1950s Wife

 

May Gay Married Men Live the "1950s Wife" Lifestyle?

A Gentleman writes:

After years of hard work, my company rightly rewarded me with a promotion and healthy raise. The new job requires me and longtime companion, Billy, to move from Miami Beach to company headquarters in Iowa.

While we’re sad to leave the Florida sunshine behind, my increased pay coupled with the lower cost-of-living lets us upgrade from one-bedroom condominium to 5,000-square-foot “McMansion.” Just as important, moving to a sophisticated state such as Iowa gives me and Billy the chance to finally “tie the knot.”

Billy’s never brought in much money from his career as professional body builder. To make up for it, he takes primary housekeeping responsibility.

Though he averages 12 hours a day at the gym, Billy’s cooking and cleaning have heretofore proved acceptable. But, now that we’re getting married, I expect a bit more from Billy than the bare minimum. It’s high time he puts dreams of body-building stardom on the shelf so he can spend the majority of time attending to my needs.

I came across your blog researching vacuum cleaners online, as Billy carelessly broke the old one running it into a set of barbells he left on the living room floor. I must confess the thought of Billy hard at work during the day keeping my mansion immaculately clean and cooking me fancy dinners while being at my beck and call anytime I desire sex at night is most appealing.

But, as a rising corporate star with dreams of CEO-ship dancing in my head, I dare not commit a faux pas in my domestic life.  As your blog is required reading among the smart set, I must ask: Is it acceptable for gay married men to practice the “1950s Wife” lifestyle?

Kind Sir:

First let me congratulate you and Billy on your impending nuptials. If only more states followed the lead of the Hawkeye State, then these United States would be a better place.

Of course it’s perfectly acceptable that you and Billy, now that you’re becoming Mr.-and-Mr., to incorporate 1950s Wife-values into your daily routine.

Having spent so many years in the Florida sun, Billy may chaff at first at being kept in the house most of the day cleaning house, cooking your meals and laundering your clothes. His previous routine of 84 hours a week in the gym should help in the adjustment, as will Iowa’s eight-month winters.

While proper housekeeping is certainly strenuous, it probably doesn’t burn as many calories as pumping iron 12 hours every day. As you don’t want to risk losing your sexual desire for Billy by him getting all flabby with “man boobs” and a big fat gut, you should limit his diet to 1500 calories a day of fruit, nuts and protein shakes.

Allow him one hour out of his 12-hour housekeeping day to devote to push-ups  jumping jacks, “Burpees” and other calisthenics and weightlifting. While he’s working out, you should require Billy to recite phrases to remind him that the purpose of keeping a toned body to please you.

When I do my 15 minutes of eight-pound curls, my husband requires me to recite “I must, I must, I must increase my bust.” I suggest a more gender-appropriate song for Billy such as “I best, I best, I best increase my pecs.”

As far as Billy’s daily costume is concerned, remember that it’s your needs that count, not his fashion sensibility. Whether you prefer him in preppy gear, or leather vest and hot pants with “butt flaps” that unzip, or cross-dressed, he should wear his outfit with pride and not be shy about greeting the mailman, home repair guy and other daily visitors while wearing sexy clothes.

Billy should be made to greet you upon your arrival home each night with a martini in hand and a kiss on the lips.

My Hubby prefers to spend cocktail hour sitting in his easy chair sipping his drink while I sit on the floor massaging his feet, all the while “oohing-and-ahhing” as he recounts his businesses successes that day. You should engage in similar relaxation, perhaps reclining back in your chair while Billy feeds you fat grapes. Once refreshed, you can reciprocate by feeding him your “fat banana.”

When dinnertime comes, have Billy serve you first. Once you’ve tucked in to your steak tartar or roast duck, Billy can sit down to his 400-calorie oatmeal-and-yogurt spread.

While Billy’s busy washing the dishes, you should retire to the living room to review your lecture for Billy and limber up your “spanking arm.”

Whether rules are broken or not, nightly spanking is a necessity in the early months of marriage. Even if Billy isn't silly, pretending that you’re displeased will encourage him to do better. As my husband likes to remind me, the head of the household doesn’t need a specific reason to spank.

Spankings are for my benefit and his pleasure, Hubby says, and I should always remember to be grateful. If I voice the slightest protest about a spanking being unfair, I get spanked harder.

Once you’ve blistered his bottom, Billy should arise from your lap, bow, kiss you softly on the cheek and say “Thank you Daddy for spanking me so hard. I know you do it because you love me and care about how I behave.”

Then you and he may retire to the bedroom for three hours of bed-shaking sex.

Congrats again on getting hitched! If you need my recipe for beer ice cream and fried beef jerky for ‘ours devours for the reception, please write.

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The Spanking Mother-in-Law and Other Fun Pinterest Pics

Critics agree: My new Pinterest blog "The 1950s Well Spanked Wife" can't be beat. It's the best thing since sliced bread! Maybe even better. Here are a few of my latest "pins."

Husbands take heed! In the early years of marriage, it's best to have mother-in stay over and assume spanking duties when you're away on business trips. Once the wife reaches her 30s, she can be trusted to spend a day or two on her own without slacking on housework or cheating on her diet.

As manly men, 1950s-style husbands are infatuated with technology. My husband's pride-and-joy is his state-of-the-art slide projector. Normally he shows slides from our excursions in the Great Outdoors.

But, when Hubby recently invited the neighbors by to view pics of "color season," instead of photos of fall foliage from our trip to New England, he showed slides of my spanked ass! Boy oh boy, was I embarrassed! But I must admit the "reds," "purples" and "blacks" from the paddle bruises, cane stripes and hand marks make a wonderful palette.

What a smooth-talking man this lucky gal has! My husband doesn't believe in being so effusive in his compliments. A grunt from Hubby at dinner is all I need to reassure me I've prepared an acceptable meal and put a big smile on my face!

For more fun photos and illustrations check out my Pinterest blog "The 1950s Well Spanked Wife'

Don't delay. Start "pinning" today!

"Pinterest": Appropriate Hobby for the Submissive Wife?

Dear 1950s Wife,

For the longest time, my husband wouldn’t buy me a computer tablet because he figured I’d waste time Facebooking, Twittering and watching “I Love Lucy” re-runs on You Tube when I should be cleaning house, cooking dinner and washing his clothes.

But after hearing from other 1950s-style husbands about useful computer applications for increasing housewife productivity, he bought me a computer tablet for my birthday. It’s been so helpful in keeping me on my toes.

For example, with the camera phone function, rather than taking my word for it, Hubby can visually inspect the house in his regular calls home during the workday to make sure on I’m on schedule.

Times before, I’ve been apt to take short cuts in the morning, such as giving the attic windowsills a quick once-over with the feather duster rather than a sound cleaning, in the hopes of freeing up time to watch my favorite soap opera. Then I’d down an afternoon “pick-me-up” of energy drink, three packets of sugar and a diet pill and “power clean” to catch up.

Now that I’m no longer tempted, I make steady progress through the day and give the attic windowsills the attention they deserve. And, by foregoing my afternoon tonic, I’ve gained five pounds in back, which makes Hubby’s spankings hurt less. Plus my breasts are once again full enough to balance the breakfast tray when I serve Hubby his bacon, eggs, coffee and toast in the morning.

They’re other great apps Hubby installed, including streaming music of John Phillips Sousa marching songs that are great for keeping time as I launder and iron, as well as a fabulous “time-and-motion calculator” that specifies the appropriate length for each household task down to the tenth of a second.

By implementing these measures, I’ve freed up seventeen minutes in my day, which affords me the opportunity to resume my cherished hobby of knitting Christmas sweaters for Hubby, Dear Ol’ Dad, uncles, brother-in-laws, nephews and male cousins in the family.

Of course Hubby refuses to allow Facebook, Twitter, You Tube and other time-wasting applications on my tablet. But, as sign of how pleased he is with my housekeeping and curvier figure, he’s decided I may install one recreational computer application on my tablet and expend eight of those extra 17 daily minutes on some “me time.”

After thinking about it, I’m going with Pinterest. All my non-submissive gal pals use it and they’re just a gaga about the neat “pin boards” you can find.

I told Hubby and he says OK as long as I don’t look at anything inappropriate such as boards advocating feminism and other liberal politics. But, as avid readers of your blog, we agree that I should check with you first for recommendations.

Do you know of any Pinterest boards especially appropriate for the submissive wife?

Good woman,

Interesting that you should ask for I just the other day heard word of a fantastic new Pinterest board, "The 1950s Well Spanked Wife" by Claire Colinsgrove.

While my husband normally allows me to use the internet just to post to this blog, in the interest of researching the noble practice of “wife spanking” and other cherished aspects of the 1950s lifestyle, I took a look. Certainly “The 1950s Well Spanked Wife” should be required reading for all submissive wives and dominant husbands, as well as vanilla couples willing to check it out as they certainly could learn a thing or two.

Along with hilarious 1950s-era “spanking cartoons” that celebrate the time when a husband wasn’t afraid to put his naughty wife over his knee and paddle her pert posterior, the board also includes totally awesome so-called “sexist ads” of the 1950s and 60s.

And for you gals whose husbands let you look at racier fare, Mrs. Colinsgrove also has a Tumblr blog "Well Disciplined Wives" The blog consists of far-out photos she’s found online of “ball gags, chastity belts, punishment outfits, restraints, shivery pre-spanking suspense, submissive posturing and all that good stuff for keeping submissive wives.”

Photos are NSFW and posted for artistic purposes only. You must be 18 years old or older to read the blog.